Unbecoming Claire

by The Bison

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1.
I'm writing a song that I think you would like 'Cause I want you to see how much we're still alike I want to know if you do sleep with the lights 'Cause when you lived with me you still shut all the blinds I want to make sure that it sinks past your eyes And though you won't know it I'm still alive And I will love this Life, and your life Until I die
2.
Her eyes, they stand open Green eyes of the ocean Our fears, we will quash them We will... Throw them into the fire We will... Decide We'll cross every nation We'll build our own airline And when the Sun retires We will... Go out into the night We can... Do right
3.
Seabirds 03:23
I see the picture on your arm But I know what it means 'Cause the crane it is a fraud And I am not I tell ya, I'm staying land-locked But you are a seabird Seabird Remember when you called To see if I could come up But the timing was just so goddamned off And the myth hits us all As wind lifts me up But you will have flown and gone We are but seabirds Seabirds
4.
Remember when you told your friends That I could not get out of bed? Well I'm walkin', down to the bus stop And you may not remember this, But I'll tell you, so get off your shit now lady Remember when you told me I should Go out there and get a job? Well I found one, yeah I rolled up my sleeves And if this is all in that "real world", Then from where did your bankroll come from? Did you find it? Was it given? Yeah, what is "earned"? Remember when I came back home, And your friend in the shower And two voices laughing? With his clothes strewn all about Well, it's about time one of us gets the hell out Remember when we came back home To furniture stuck with post-it notes For your taking back to your new home? Well, I was just a kid back then, But leaving always means the same thing Oh, it's all coming down
5.
If the steam drill broke John Henry, What can my hands do in this city? And what can a quiet man do in a frightened neighborhood? Oh, tell me, where are we going? Yeah, the summer's getting heavy And you and your friends will dress so pretty If I try and take this sidewalk heat-rock as a bed And let me rest deep Some men get used to it
6.
I'm a self-made man, with feathers in my hat Yeah I can, yeah I... When I stroll downtown, the women gather 'round Waving their fans, they wave their hands And I know 12 languages And I can sing Glen Hansard French I'm an old grizzly oak; my hands are 10-foot boughs Shake my hand, shake my... As you will note, my beard produces wool I'm a man. I'm a man. And I have telescopic eyes And I can see through the lies you spread When I leave this Earth They will kill a calf in honor of me And all of the people will dance and sing The kids will dance The kids will dance I'm so in control, nothing can take hold
7.
Ekkyklema 05:37
I've got two more hours to go 'Till it's been ten days straight But send them off, send them off All your friendly eyes Send them off, send them off Because I've got to hoe where the yard's overgrown And water, and water. "See him, watch! This crooked old show Hear him turn a brogue And set it off, set it off 'Cause we've got to know, while the lights are all up The onus. A chorus..." I've got a home, it's a loop of a mile With stairs all built in helical style I've got a yard, it's blooming out flies "So, now, what's this pool on the floor? What are these new lies? Send along, yes send along The curtains and the lights Shut it off, shut it off And exit the rear by the concessionaire" And low light, and low light I've got a home in the loop of the sky I go to it from time to time I want to know how the seraphim decide
8.
Long Drive 02:34
Out long on the road Remember to answer my phone, And hear you say, "Come home to these arms wide, No longer to take flight, leave anymore" Now lying alone You say this is no longer your home You'll go out, drinking in the moonlight That life that fits just right, and dream evermore But low tide still comes right to the shore And moonlight still shines bright on my car Don't answer the phone We'll stop when we reach our home
9.
Riding to your house Sunday It was noon-ish, and the wind, it was ok You were sitting in the main room, in your chair They told me that you may not be quite well But your lips were pale, and your eyelids stood still I took you back, back into your room And how weirdly it felt to breathe for you Your mother she showed up so composed Your sister had to pour out all her woes And Isabel, she cried, though she couldn't have known why And out the door, spring petals were borne Just as they're wont to do She likes it when I whistle little things 'Bout the Sun, and its coming to darling So I plunked this little tune while the light Shone peaceful all over her blue eyes And David lied still in the room, where he will If all the things we strive to keep Were wounded, I would keep them still
10.
Oakland 04:07
Oh, brother, tell me How much death have we seen How much we've known? And how much more before we're grown up And all I wanted Was to be whole 'fore I see that Sun explode Whole And oh, their eyes I feel them How they're watching us Oh, brother, show me How to make it through this town when you're not home Remind me how to love a cold soul And all our folks said Was find a home that could keep us from that cold Home And oh, their eyes I feel them How they wait for us! Oh, how they speak to us! All along
11.
Indian Rock 03:35
Take the money you're gettin from home Get a hotel room on the coast And roam the tide pools And drink in night-fulls But what is life without love? I don't know What is love when your wine's full? I'll spend the summer learning to climb Have a cup for to save all my dimes Get back to the road Try to find home 'Cause what is life without love? I don't know And what is love when you're in motion?
12.
James, my brother, it's been a long time From the alleys into our own lives We spilled cold water to bury our fears And I spent all those days just to have these years The oaks past the home we climbed To find out, to know And I still hold to the rope Every father dreads of the day His girl discovers black mascara And every son loathes of the time That his mother pours the red wine And I'll pour the boldest kind To try it, to know And I find it hollow To my lovers, don't give me shine Give me solace to face the design And to my brother, a cup when he wears I'll spend all these days just to have these years I'll spend all these days just to have these years
13.
Song Idea 02:54
I don't know which way you go home And I don't know which roads you go on Where you go I don't know which beds you lay on And I don't know which fears you dwell on when you lose control Don't have to know I know I can't keep blaming you for all I can't control Now I sing wherever I roam Now I dance just to hear my soles tap on the stone Yeah, that's the note I get to watch my Willow grow old Yeah, that's a home

about

"Sometimes with one I love I fill myself with rage for fear I effuse unreturn'd love,
But now I think there is no unreturn'd love, the pay is certain one way or another,
(I loved a certain person ardently and my love was not return'd,
Yet out of that I have written these songs.)"

--Walt Whitman

credits

released February 21, 2015

Songs written 2010 - 2013

This project was recorded between 2012 and 2015, at Ex Studio, and in living rooms, bedrooms, and my driver's seat, with extra engineering help by Todd Bradford and Angela Don.

Jason Lauterjung sang on 2, banged pots and pans on 6
Beth Halel played cello on 5
Todd Bradford played electric guitar on 6, trumpet on 10, with groans on each
Paul Anderson, Philip Batchelder, Jason Courtney, and Chris Dillingham played harmonica, fiddle, bouzouki, and high whistle & bones, respectively, on 12 (elderberries.bandcamp.com)

You're hearing John Morgan (johnstevenmorgan.bandcamp.com), his old roommate whose name I can't recall, Rob Schwerdt, and I, playing darkly stuff at the end of 6.
The dancing and music at the end of 12 is from the Starry Plough's (Berkeley) Monday night ceili, with music led by Richard Page.

Thanks also to Jason, Joe, and Rob for mixing help.

Bowl with two cranes and geometric forms, Mimbres (New Mexico), circa 1250 CE, currently held at the Art Institute of Chicago (anthropology.si.edu/cm/mimbres.htm)

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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The Bison Madison, Wisconsin

Various musical endeavors by Kevin Stindt & co.

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